John Zeitler

So, Deathsmiles. Let’s set aside the whole “Aksys is populated entirely by highly motivated perverts” thing for a moment and look at the gameplay first. DS presents itself as a fairly straightforward danmaku shooter, which is to say that you’re going to find the screen filled with about seventeen zillion lethal bullets by around the third stage. However, like most bullet-hell shooters these days, the game provides unlimited credits, so seeing the endings is mostly a matter of patience, and the skill comes in gaining score; an antiquated notion, to be sure, but I’ve always liked having personal challenges like that. While nominally a side-scrolling shooter along the lines of Gradius or R-Type, DS switches things up a bit by allowing you to shoot either left or right (but only one at a time– they’re mapped to different buttons) and by scrolling the screen vertically or in a zig-zag pattern. The game doesn’t feel cheap or unfair– most bullet patterns have an obvious or non-obvious path, and when they intersect the character’s hitbox– her heart– can usually take a light grazing. The scoring system is based on collecting items dropped from certain fallen foes, and by using the familiar (an option-like firing drone) to convert certain types of bullets into those scoring targets. Once that count reaches a maximum of 1000, shooting down foes provides massively-valued targets which also deal in a multiplier. Taking damage will force you to sacrifice a percentage of your count, while getting shot down yourself will reset it all to zero. The enemies are fairly varied as well, and the bosses are sufficiently big and menacing, and with suitably ridiculous attack patterns to evade. Overall if you decide to go through it with all five characters you’re looking at maybe eight to ten hours tops (there’s achievements for choosing either option during the ending).

As for the characters… I’ll be honest, I’m not all that into EGL. I do find that, when it’s executed well, it’s quite visually appealing (after all, I am a male and I am breathing, so of course I’m going to get a little excitable around well-dressed ladies). Obviously the youth thing (and that, y’know, they’re not real) makes it more of an aesthetic attraction and strictly platonic, but it’s not exactly a secret that the character designs are not made with that sort of thing in mind. There’s a very, very fine line between coquettish and co– er, ahem, deceptively provocative, and the girls of Deathsmiles are all over the map in that regard. I don’t want to turn this into a discussion on whether or not the phenomenon of moe is inherently good or bad (it’s all art to me, and the merit of art is all in how one reacts to the emotions it stirs), but from playing through the story mode, it’s sort of obvious that these girls could be dressed in pretty much anything and the plot could remain unchanged. Ultimately the EGL thing is just another facet of the game’s aesthetic, and while it’s fairly well-executed here (sometimes), it’s mostly just window-dressing and completely unrelated to the fantastic gameplay.

But there is no way in hell that I will put that faceplate on my 360.

I’ve got a little bit to talk about, but the first thing of any real interest is that I’ve got to get a new suitcase. See, the last time I needed a big suitcase, around the size needed to check, was back in 2008. After I got home, I put it into the storage unit at my apartment, whereupon it was promptly stolen. So yeah, when I took my trip last year I thought, “Oh, I can make do with a duffel bag!” and almost broke my back hauling it around. Thus, hardshell case that is NOT going into storage kthx. I’ve found a couple likely candidates and will be picking it up this weekend.

Tomorrow I’ll give my thoughts on Deathsmiles.

So it’s time for me to start making preparations for a few big events… one later this week, and one closer to the end of next month.

This is going to be one busy summer, boys and girls.

Perhaps it’s a side-effect of the whole early rising thing that I do, or perhaps it’s because I just happen to pick series that, if they were any more potent, would have big ol’ warning labels on them about not using them while operating heavy machinery, but I’ve been struggling to get through more than two or three episodes of this current anime before falling asleep. There’s just something very comforting and relaxing about, well, comfort and relaxation.

Come to think of it, it would be a bad idea to use pretty much any DVD while driving. I think I need to do more research on this. The anime-sleepiness thing. Not driving while watching anime. I could really only do that once anyway, and I likely wouldn’t be able to write down coherent notes afterwards.

The CEO of television dubbing studio Bang-Zoom Entertainment, Eric Sherman, posted a strongly worded article on Tuesday claiming that, solely due to the download of fan-subtitled anime, the studio would likely shut down within twelve months. His reasoning is that the existence of a free source for an anime not legally available in North America intrinsically and irrevocably cuts into the profits of a dubbing studio such as his. Mr. Sherman goes on to say that “anime is going to die”.

( There’s more than a few holes in his argument… » )

Today’s news came to me a little early. I have some remarks about the… uh, remarks that Bang Zoom CEO Eric Sherman made regarding the state of the NA anime industry. Naturally, I’m a little tired now and can’t finish them in anything resembling coherency. Tomorrow. Probably.

Completely unrelated: You want to download the Split/Second demo. RIGHT NOW. I MEAN IT.

I didn’t mention this at the time, but while at Tekkoshocon, I happened upon a flyer for Winter Melody, a webcomic that seems to be in its infancy. Even with so few pages up already and a little bit of background information on the characters, I think it’s shaping up to be a really interesting story– or at the least it’s cute enough that I can overlook its somewhat moderate pacing. (Incidentally it seems to have started off as a 4-koma, a format that just doesn’t get enough English-language attention.)

You’ll notice I kept saying “seems” up there, and while I’ll be the first to admit it’s the verbal tic that’s replacing “actually” in my overused-phrase bin, there’s a damn good reason for it this time: I have no idea who is doing Winter Melody. There’s no credits on the page, no names, nothing… just the webcomic. Not even any ads! Since I’m a stickler for credit, sadly that means I can’t yet put it on my main links page, but it’s at least in my bookmarks toolbar for the time being.

It’s weird to think that I’m practically opening myself up for identity theft compared to the talent behind that series.

No big long intro this time– just going to get into the anime caplets and leave the discussion for later. So…

The Story of Saiunkoku: (Madhouse, 2006; Geneon/Funimation 2007-2009)
If He Is My Master is pure fanservice, then Saiunkoku is “brain service”. There is absolutely nothing sexy, nothing action-packed, and nothing palpitation-inducing about the first episode of this series. That, of course, does not preclude it from being enthralling, fascinating, and just the slightest bit funny. While the concept of a period drama is not exactly unknown among live-action Japanese television, it’s exceedingly rare for anime, especially anime that gets any sort of English-language release. I can see why Madhouse did it, though, and it lies in the simple yet deceptively descriptive phrase, “scenery porn”. This is a gorgeous series. Shuurei herself, the main character, is interesting as well: she’s far from the stereotypical shrinking-violet type. At first I found her to be a little too perfect to be believable, but it was about that time that I caught on that her good-girl act was merely the social facade she was expected to wear, and that she’s written more or less realistically underneath that. I can dig this series.

Kaleido Star (Gonzo, 2004; ADV, 2005-2008)
Around the time Sora started blazing her way through the generic American city after the thief, I started to realize what kind of character she was, as well as what kind of series KS could have been. I was getting a decidedly Excel Saga vibe, until she hit the audition and got shut down. I understand it was an establishing moment for Layla’s character, but the whiplash was just a little too much to reasonably take. It got completely turned around just before the commercial break, to the point where the whole series is completely unpredictable. The floor show worked out to be as awesome as it’s been hyped up to be, and it’s one of those things where I think Gonzo just likes making things great only to crush the characters and the audience as well. And then it got really weird when Fool showed up. I wish I had confidence in the fact that it would end well, but this one episode casts all that in doubt– normally compelling, but here… irritating. Either due to Kalos’ seeming omniscience, Layla’s obsessive bitchiness, or Sora’s crippling underconfidence, it just grates for some reason. As a direct result, I’m uncertain on if I’m going to move it up on the list at some point. This leads me into a side tangent I’ve been thinking about… later. Much later.

When They Cry (Studio Deen, 2006; Geneon/Funimation 2006-2009)
Here’s my problem with spoilers. They can make enjoying a series like this one extremely difficult. I know where the series is going, so this first episode where things are relatively silly is almost impossible to take at the face value that it’s being presented in. Funny thing is, though, When They Cry opens with probably the single bloodiest two minutes of screen time that I’ve seen since Elfen Lied. Nominally, not a problem. I can handle a little guts an’ gore. The problem is that, because I’ve read the manga, I know that that intro is just the tip of the iceberg. Given the fact that I don’t deal well with horror, and especially not psychological/paranoia stuff, I’m probably gonna have to double-bill this with something far, far further up the “light and fluffy” scale. Oh, and for some reason, Keiichi’s English-language voice actor doesn’t really sound right to me. I always thought his normal voice was a little less overstimulated while reading it, and this just doesn’t seem to fit his established character, let alone my preconceptions.

Princess Tutu (Hal Film Maker, 2002; ADV, 2005-2006)
Okay. I stand corrected. THIS has the Excel Saga nature. I have to admit, though, that hearing Chris Patton’s voice coming out of Fakir was pretty much the point at which I started to really enjoy it. When it happened the second time I knew there was more to this than what it appeared to be. The story is steeped greatly in fantasy, to the point where having a cat for a ballet instructor is only a minor and temporary astonishment. Like Kaleido Star it’s a series about performance arts, meaning the animation is going to be gorgeous (when it’s not cracked-out), but the writing here drew me in and got me far more excited to let it go forward. And the fact that the English dub cast works perfectly is just an added bonus.

The Slayers Next (TV Tokyo, 1996; Central Park Media/Funimation, 1998/2007)
So this is where one of my favorite opening themes comes from! It’s been about a year since I finished up watching Slayers, and the thing is that the characters are among the best-loved in anime for a very good reason. While the DVDs are based off the original VHS masters, the whole thing still radiates the kind of charm that’s still rare to find. In terms of the story, it’s presented as being a matter of an irresistible force (in this case, Lina and the gang) meeting an immovable object (Martina). The gleeful, uninhibited ridiculousness was a great change of pace after, well, everything up there. It’s high on the list now, too.

Ah! My Goddess Flights Of Fancy (AIC, 2006; Media Blasters/ADV/Funimation 2007)
First off, explain to me what a Norse goddess is doing playing Scottish bagpipes. I’m not complaining, I’m just trying to figure out the connection. Anyway, if it was a long time since seeing Lina last, it’s been even longer since I sat down with the first season of Ah! My Goddess. I had collected the whole set during the Cleveland occupation (and subsequently lost it…) and watched it then, but I just never got around to season two until now. It’s probably weird, then, that the only thing I can seem to think of while watching is Tales of Vesperia. Seriously, I can see elements of the same character designs in everybody (no surprise, as the Tales series regularly employs Kousuke Fujishima as an illustrator– again, totally not complaining). As for the story, well, it starts with the Father of all “where’s my daughter” calls and just goes from there. Again, it’s one of the most classic manga tales, and its animated adaptation here is very deserving of its praise.

In the end, despite the fact that it was designed to narrow down the list of what I wanted to watch, the Rush to Judgment only wound up getting me to simply reorganize the list. Nothing really got eliminated, just pushed back. That was one of the outcomes I was sort of expecting, though: I know my tastes, and very seldom will I pick something absolutely wretched. It has been known to happen, of course, but those times are exceedingly rare. Anyway, the bottom line is that I’ve managed to get a pretty good queue set up, and barring any must-see shows popping up between now and August (if I’m lucky), I think I’m about set.

So: the mafia, some mages, a wolf, a Western, one graceful duck, four odd ducks, a maiden’s tale, a tale of maids, a fire drill, a girl of fire, a trip to the skies, a trip to much friendlier (ahem) skies, fear and loathing, and a well-earned happy ending. What a list…

I’m just now getting to start the Rush to Judgment Part Two, and as a result I’m going to have to delay the post until tomorrow. We’ll get to it, I promise… maybe we’ll even have six episodes to talk about.

Rush to Judgment is a feature I do every so often when I find that my stack has got to be way too big for me to find out what to start next. The last time I did this, I played through the first thirty minutes of ten games in order to see which one grabbed my attention… and, ironically, none of them did. Today I picked six anime series out of the ten I haven’t seen a single frame of yet, and this week I’ll go through the other four. For now, though, enjoy my impressions of the first episodes of the series below.

In retrospect, this was a really, really bad idea. But not for the reasons you think. I detailed the format of this little experiment above, but one thing I wanted to mention was that it was really hard to stick to that format. I forced myself to watch only one episode, in its entirety, to gauge how the series was going. In some cases, one episode was enough… and in others, it was woefully inadequate. Enough preamble: let’s do this.

He Is My Master: (Gainax/Shaft, 2005; Sentai Filmworks, 2009, sub-only)
Remember when you could say “it’s a Gainax series” and have people know exactly what you meant by that? It used to mean stacked girls and the flimsiest excuses. Nowadays it means pseudo-intellectual deconstructionism that threatens what it means to be an anime fan. Funny thing is, Master matches both of those descriptions. The series revolves around Izumi and Mitsuki, middle-school runaways who are looking for work. Luck (of the bad sort) leads them to the mansion of Yoshitaka, a similarly-aged heir who happens to be looking for a live-in maid or two. Yeah, you can guess how this will go. It veers sharply off the pandering formula around the time the nebulously-drawn crocodile starts chewing on Yoshitaka. The thing is, Master looks like it has the potential to deconstruct the whole “lonely otaku suddenly has gorgeous maids” fantasy fanservice type of show, but that largely depends on if the characters get some sort of development, Yoshitaka in particular. And yeah, despite the fact that I know she’s schmuck bait and specifically made to be a likeable character, I am kind of interested in seeing where Izumi’s characterization is going. But we’ll see. This is about exactly what I thought it was going to be… whether or not that’s a good thing is an exercise left up to the reader.

Baccano!: (Aniplex, 2007; Funimation, 2009, dubbed)
Okay, first, I have to ask this. “Jacuzzi Splot”? Really? You were doing so well with “Clare Stanfield”, and then you go and drop Jacuzzi Splot. Y’know what? I can forgive that. I pretty much have to, when the first episode of the series is pretty much a metafictional discussion of the concept of a “main character”, to say nothing of the concept of a story beginning or ending. The series literally defies description, but the short version is that it answers the unasked question, “How would the American 1930s Prohibition-era gangster wars be different if some of those gangsters were, in fact, imbued with the alchemical Elixir of Immortality?”. And it answers it thusly: “It would be awesome.” I made a note to the effect of this being my next series to watch through (helps that it’s only 13 episodes).

Negima!: (Xebec, 2005; Funimation, 2006, dubbed/switched to subtitles)
I realized about halfway through this one that I had actually seen this a couple of years ago. Just the first episode, of course, but that was on a fansub, and as it turns out that was probably for the best. Greg Ayres plays the decidedly British Negi Springfield, and does so with the single most atrocious fake accent I have ever heard. Hell, I could do better than that. I jumped to the subtitles and quickly realized that the dub script took a few more liberties with the text, too… so no real loss. Problem is, it was at that halfway point which I realized why I hadn’t gone further with this one: it’s… well, it’s just not that good. Okay, it has some good moments, and there’s bound to be at least one character I’ll like here (I still have yet to read through more of the manga) because the opening credits is basically a checklist of stock “cute girl” characters. It’s not that it’s bad. It just has to have one of the slowest starts to the actual plot that I have ever seen… was it really necessary to stretch it out this long? The first episode ended on a really lame hook. Think I’ll let this slide until after I’ve read more of the manga (which is just as slowly-paced, but I can read the obnoxious parts faster than they can be acted).

Spice And Wolf: (Imagin, 2008; Funimation, 2009, dubbed)
It’s been a while since I’ve seen a series set in a medieval time period– at least, one which was played straight. The Slayers is about the closest, and beyond that you’d have to go back to Scrapped Princess (subversion-o-rama), or Record of Lodoss War (which is pretty much ten years ago since I’ve seen it even most of the way through). I’m not big on swords-and-sorcery, but it looks like Spice has, in point of fact, neither. Lawrence is a traveling merchant, who somehow comes across the ambiguously-divine wolf “god” Holo (the coming of monotheism to the almost-western-European setting, including disdainful mentions of “pagans”, is also a seemingly-major plot point). She basically tricks him into taking her with him, but it’s done in such a genuinely charming way that you can’t help but like her. Holo really acts more like a fox than a wolf, as she’s somewhat untrustworthy and devious; on the other hand, Lawrence isn’t some easily-duped rube himself. Both of them have pasts, and probably most importantly, both of them have pasts that are presented such that I want to find out more about them.

Simoun: (Studio Deen, 2006; Media Blasters, 2007, sub-only)
Okay, yeah, there’s not really any getting around the fact that this is a series about magical flying lesbians. Now that I have your attention… it’s still about magical flying lesbians. Pretty much an instant-sell for a lot of people, but I’m trying to figure out where exactly I heard all the really positive impressions of this series, and how long it takes for me to find any of the overtly redeeming qualities. Judging from the first episode alone, this is going to be twenty-six episodes which alternate between showing cute girls kissing and wrecking them emotionally. There’s simply no way for Simoun to not end in a horribly depressing manner. It’s going on the back burner.

El Cazador De La Bruja: (Bee Train, 2007; Funimation, 2009, dubbed)
Fun fact: I switched these last two from their original lineup when I was changing discs after Baccano!, and I’m kind of glad I did. Cazador is a third-generation successor to Bee Train’s previous hit Noir, and in some respects, it shows: Ellis is appropriately wispy and enigmatic, there’s a shadowy conspiracy calling the shots from far away, and Nadie is a tall, confident gunslinging girl. That’s about where the similarities end. Cazador is talkative– compared to Noir, Cazador just plain never shuts up– and is a bit more humorous at times, particularly in how Ellis and Nadie interact. Their relationship is a bit more normal than Mirielle and Kirika’s was, in that they’re not actively planning to kill each other; more than that, it seems like there’s a cast of supporting characters here that promises to make the whole thing work so much more fluidly than Noir did (it was great, but it had its pacing problems). Despite the packaging and general assumptions, it should be noted that the series is set in the present day, and it’s also set in Mexico, which coincidentally explains the gratuitous Spanish being spoken by the dub cast.

Trailer Impressions
Two of the series I watched were prefaced with trailers of sufficient note to make me comment on them in my notes. I was already interested in Soul Eater, having read the beginnings of the manga in Yen Plus, but having seen the series in action, I’m probably going to have to pick it up at some point. Looking forward to that, especially if the dub work is of a fairly decent quality. On the other hand, we have Dragonaut. Initially, I had placed He Is My Master as the series with the most fanservice I’d seen tonight. When the trailer shows a girl to whom puberty has been particularly generous jump-roping, you kind of get a pretty good feeling for where the series is headed. In this case, it’s headed absolutely nowhere near my shelf.

I’d said that this was a bad idea, and unfortunately that’s for a very good reason: I now have no idea which of the three best series I’m going to watch first. That, in case you’re wondering, completely defeats the purpose of running the Rush to Judgment to begin with. I’m not going to complain too much, mind: it’s probably the best kind of problem to have, but it’s still a little frustrating. In the end, though, I think I’m going to go with Baccano!, followed quickly by Spice and Wolf.

Tomorrow, I’ll preview the last four “new” series on my stack; I may also manage to get some models sprayed up properly.